When I was younger I didn’t have the best confidence ever in myself. I was more on the reserved, quiet side. What irked me the most is when I was conversing with others and they would say those ever so simple words, “just be confident.”

When you went to driving school, the instructor didn’t say, “just drive.” In math class the teacher didn’t say “just add and subtract.” No, there were lectures involved. There were lessons on how to drive or add and subtract. So for me coming up, if someone said, “just be confident,” that was almost like adding salt to the wound.

As I got older and grew more into myself, I learned that confidence is a frame of mind. It’s about believing in yourself. Believing that you can achieve anything you put your hands to do. When you believe in yourself then your body language will mirror the beliefs you hold about yourself.

While confidence is a frame of mind there are also physical body language attributes that you can change about yourself to project self-confidence. Below I’ve devised a list of nine ways to help boost confidence.

1. Think enough of yourself – Although Romans 12:3 declares that man should not think more highly of himself, I believe that there should be a balance between thinking too highly of yourself and not thinking enough of yourself. Self-confidence begins with the thoughts and beliefs you hold about yourself. Observe any negative thoughts that you may have and change them into positive thoughts.

I say this scripture in almost every blog and I believe it should be a scripture that you say on a daily basis but, you can do all things through Christ which strengthens you. Once you embed this scripture and principal into your mind, then will you begin to see a rise in your self esteem.

2. Smile – Studies show that a warm smile is an instant mood changer. When you smile genuinely, for more than thirty seconds, you start to create positive feelings within your core being. Studies also show that people who smile more often appear more friendly and more approachable. Other studies show that employers unconsciously promote employees who smile more often. A smile is one of the key factors in boosting self-confidence. You should try it more often.

3. Posture – Studies show that 60-80 percent of what you’re saying isn’t coming out of your mouth. When you walk around slouched over and looking at the ground, you’re indicating to others that you don’t care enough about yourself. By standing taller, lifting up your chin up, and putting your shoulders back, you will naturally project more confidence. Remember, you teach others how to treat you. Don’t give them a reason to look down on you. Increase your posture and demand respect.

4. Dress for success – Whether you’re going on an important job interview or simply going to class, it’s important to dress like you care for yourself. I’m not insinuating that you should wear a suit and tie to class or to the grocery store, (although it would be rather appropriate for a job interview) but show interest in the type of impression that you make. Wash and iron your clothes. Guys pull your pants up– females too… (uh oh… I can see the emails coming in now…) but you get the point, show respect for yourself.

5. Walk a couple paces faster – Another subconscious signal that screams lack of confidence is carrying yourself like you’re going no where. I wouldn’t encourage you to walk like you’re on the way to the restroom, (when you gotta go… you gotta go) but pick up the pace just a tad. By doing so, you indicate to others that you’re after something in life and that you’re excited to get there.

6. Socialize – Often times the more confident person in social situations is the one who is breaking out of their comfort zone and speaking to others. Break free of shyness and reach out to others whether you know them or not.

7. Relax – Release all the tension out of your body. When you tense up you communicate to others that you are uneasy. One of the easiest ways to project that you’re nervous is to appear uneasy. Breath in and out my friend. Relax and enjoy the moment.

8. Project your voice – Speak up in social situations. Show others that you’re worthy of being heard. People respect people who respect themselves. Show that you’re worthy of respect and demand that your voice be heard.

9. Be yourself - People have a keen sense of ability to detect when you’re being real and when you’re being fake. When you’re not being yourself others think, “what is so bad about him that he can’t simply be himself?” When you project your true self, you weed out those who are your true friends versus those who are not your friends. Show that you love yourself for who you are by staying true to who you are.

I can’t say it enough, you teach others how to treat you. When you don’t care for yourself or show respect to yourself, then others won’t respect you either. Give others a reason to smile on you rather than look down on you. Practice being more confident and you will see a major difference as you charge forth on your journey of life.

Photo credit: Photo by Anna Gay

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